real life, shmeal life.

So I'm starting a blog. Jumping on the band wagon. Joining the ranks of the technology generation. As if anyone would want to hear about my daily antics. But you're here I guess, so it's your own fault if I bore you.

Last week, I signed my very first lease. Granted, my Dad signed the guarantor form. But still. I'm partially liable for something important. I felt like an adult. Until my roommates and I took a picture of us holding our newly signed document. WHAM. Back to middle school. (But I loved it.) This adult experience has had me thinking about my future. That's a lie. I already think about my future way too much. (I need to focus on the 'now' more.)

Anyway, as I was thinking to myself on my walk to the bus, I looked around and wondered, "What's the purpose of my current situation? What am I supposed to be doing here?". Don't get me wrong, I love college and each day I learn something new outside the classroom that excites and challenges me. I am accumulating a plethora of experiences, gaining social skills, self-esteem, and knowledge about myself. But for what? My current stage of life feels like training camp. Like I'm not in the real world yet. Don't you hate when Uncle Dave tells you to enjoy college before you have to enter the "real world" because these are the best days of your life? What is the 'real world'? ......I know, I know. The real world is when I can't show up 8 minutes late to work (like I do every day to management 211, just ask Kaley). The real world is when I have to file my W-10 forms, whatever those are. When I can't wear size Large sorority T-shirts anymore, or paint my nails black (it's this new thing I'm trying...still deciding if I like it). Or how about when I have to open my own bank account? Yikes. The real world sounds...organized yet hectic. Ew. Who made up these rules? I'm making my own, starting now. I'm officially going to continue watching Glee, checking Ellen Degeneres' tweets obsessively, wearing converse, and going to the bulk foods section at HEB to grind my own peanut butter. (I can hear my mom now..."Here's some they already ground up for you, Kellie." Doesn't she understand the satisfaction of watching your very own peanut butter squeeze right in front of you?!)

I'll tell you what I do know. I know that I am very thankful that I have parents to help provide this period of "training camp" for me, where I don't have a mortgage or car payment. Where I can figure out my next move, try on a few different "Kellies" for size. I know that life will be challenging after college, and there are parts of this stage of my life that I will miss. I've seen my siblings live through this transition, and I don't envy parts of their lives.

But I also know the look on my step mother's face when her daughter, my stepsister, runs to greet her at the door when she comes home from work- pure joy at seeing her daughter's grin and hearing about her perfect 'elementary school + lunch line + chasing boys on the playground' day. And the tone in my mother's voice when she tells me about her job as a nurse. You just know that helping heal others feeds her soul and makes her feel alive. And what about the giddiness that literally overtakes my dad when he tells me about his fantasy football league him and his brother (and best friend) do together? (I will never understand how those work. And that's ok.) Plus, I don't think anyone enjoys fishing more than my stepdad, who's current project is sprucing up a fishing house in Rockport. He's so excited. So I am too.

The point I'm trying to make is that, although the real world has more responsibility, and maybe more hurdles to jump over, it seems to follow the same pattern as the rest of life. Let's look at what I've experienced so far. Drivers license= more rules, but way more fun and freedom. College = actually having to study + doing your own laundry, but amazing, wonderful crazy, beautiful times. As we get older we receive more responsibility, but also more...life. More opportunity, joy, excitement, adventures. Growing older, I'm learning, doesn't mean that the fun's over. One of my favorite greeting cards says "It's not how old you are, but how you are old." I want to be fun for the rest of my life. So that's my goal. I am going to be the fun mom, the non-whining worker, the aunt who doesn't warn her nieces and nephews to 'enjoy life while it's still fun'. I am choosing to try and embrace the difficult times when they come, because a kite rises against the wind, not with it.

I'm happy to be where I am right now, free of many future responsibilities, but I'm sick of dreading the 'real world'. And I'm excited about what God has in store for me in the future. A challenging job? A family? Maybe a new hobby (ping pong anyone?) My prayer is that I can rely on Him, trust in Him, and share my future with Him. Actually share it with him. Like, tell him about my day and my hopes and my fears, even though He already knows. I have the feeling He wants to hear all those things. So here's to living life to the fullest, and making your own rules about the 'real world'.

It's like my mom has said to me...

"This growing up stuff aint for sissies."

Or for the lame-os.